88: A Relational Blueprint for Every Parent and Therapy Client: Rewriting Your Love Story [Parenting Neurodivergence Series]

As a caretaker, you've learned to put others first. But what if the greatest gift you could give others is learning to love yourself expansively?

Love and secure attachment is the foundation of every relationship we have, with others and with ourselves. But have you ever considered that the way you love might be holding you back? As an EMDR therapist with over 10,000 sessions under my belt, I've noticed a universal theme that emerges in every single session: the struggle between expansive and restrictive love.

And knowing how to navigate this struggle creates a framework that can change how you understand yourself, your relationships, and your place in the world. Whether you're a parent, a teacher, a therapist, or someone on their own journey of self-discovery, this episode is going to challenge your understanding of love and attachment, and open up new possibilities for growth.

I've seen three main groups of people grappling with this concept:

1. Those learning to love themselves expansively instead of restrictively
2. Those in relationships with partners who love them restrictively
3. Those working on both redefining attachment and relationship dynamics simultaneously

Sound familiar? This pattern is deeply ingrained in our attachment styles and blueprints for connection. It starts in childhood and shapes every relationship we form thereafter.

But here's the exciting part: we can change this programming. Through EMDR, we can reprogram our brains to implement the expansive love model. Imagine a world where you're free to follow your thoughts, feelings, and desires without restriction. Where you can trust yourself implicitly and show up authentically in every interaction.

For my neurodivergent listeners, this concept is particularly powerful. It's an invitation to honor your unique needs and challenges without masking or conforming to neurotypical expectations.

In this episode, we're looking at the difference between expansive and restrictive love, exploring how our early experiences shape our love blueprints, and examining the impact of love styles on attachment and relationships. We'll discuss practical steps to reprogram for expansive love, with special considerations for the neurodivergent community.

Are you ready to transform your relationship with yourself and others? To break free from restrictive patterns and embrace a more expansive, authentic way of loving? Then buckle up, because this episode is going to be a game-changer for all of us.

Remember, this journey toward expansive love isn't easy, but it's incredibly rewarding. By the end of this episode, you'll have a new perspective on attachment, love and practical tools to implement in your daily life.

The Zero Disturbance podcast is for educational purposes and is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or individualized mental health or medical care.

Mentioned in This Episode

• Parenting Neurodivergence Resource Bundle: Get on the waitlist.

What You’ll Learn

• The concept of "expansive love" versus "restrictive love" in relationships with others and self, and how this framework impacts personal growth and happiness.
• The importance of "following yourself" - allowing yourself to explore your own thoughts, feelings, and desires without restrictive rules or expectations.
• How childhood blueprints of attachment and love (expansive or restrictive) shape our adult relationships and self-perception, and the real possibility of reprogramming these patterns.
• Practical techniques to reprogram your brain for expansive love using EMDR therapy principles.
  The challenges faced by women in particular when it comes to loving themselves expansively due to societal programming and expectations.
• The potential transformative effects of practicing expansive self-love on relationships, career, and overall life satisfaction.
• The relevance of expansive love in parenting and educating neurodivergent individuals, encouraging acceptance of their natural tendencies rather than forcing them to mask or conform.

Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance:

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you won't want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle.

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.