89: EMDR Therapy and Urges: Unlocking Inner Calm and Control [Parenting Neurodivergence Series]

Urges drive our actions, yet we're often taught to suppress them. This constant battle against our natural inclinations can lead to frustration, shame, and a profound sense of disconnection from our authentic selves. Many of us struggle silently, believing our urges are inherently wrong or shameful, unaware of the toll this takes on our mental health and overall well-being.

Our relationship with urges shapes our experiences, behaviors, and even our mental health. The pain of misunderstood urges can manifest in various ways—from the overwhelmed child forced to sit still in class, to the adult grappling with addictive behaviors. This misunderstanding often leads to a cycle of suppression and eventual outbursts, leaving us feeling out of control and misunderstood.

In this week’s podcast episode, we confront the often-taboo topic of urges head-on. We explore how embracing our urges, rather than judging or suppressing them, can lead to personal growth and healing. And through the lens of EMDR therapy, we discover how to safely process and complete urges that may have been blocked in the past, offering a path to the calm, control, and authenticity that many desperately seek.

For parents and educators, this conversation provides a compassionate perspective on supporting neurodivergent children. We discuss the heartache of watching children struggle to mask their natural inclinations and offer hope through creating environments that celebrate their unique ways of moving, sensing, and learning.

Adults grappling with addictive behaviors or feeling alienated from themselves will find solace and guidance in examining their relationship with urges. By exploring the middle ground between harsh restriction and unbridled indulgence, we open the door to more integrated, fulfilling lives.

For therapists, this episode offers a framework and language for some of the most powerful interweaves and interventions possible in EMDR therapy.

This episode challenges listeners to reconsider societal norms around urges and offers practical, empathetic ways to incorporate urge awareness into daily life and therapy practice.

The Zero Disturbance podcast is for educational purposes and is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or individualized mental health or medical care.

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Parenting Neurodivergence Resource Bundle: Get on the waitlist.
• Episode 88: A Relational Blueprint for Every Parent and Therapy Client: Rewriting Your Love Story
• Episode 78: EMDR for Addiction Treatment and Healthy Habit Formation

What You’ll Learn:

• What urges are and what they look like in day-to-day life.
• The importance of recognizing and following our urges as a means of self-discovery, integration, and emotional regulation.
• How EMDR therapy can be used to process traumatic experiences by allowing clients to safely follow urges that were previously suppressed or incomplete.
• The concept of "masking" in neurodivergent individuals, especially children, and how suppressing natural urges can lead to emotional burnout and meltdowns.
• The potential benefits of allowing more movement and flexibility in educational settings, particularly for neurodivergent children.
• Reframing the concept of addiction as an attempt to achieve positive feeling states, and how understanding urges can lead to more balanced approaches to behavior.
• The value of teaching children (and adults) to recognize and respect their bodily urges as a way to promote self-awareness, emotional regulation, and overall well-being.

Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance:

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you won't want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos!

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle.

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.